These are some of the things that I have seen first thing in the morning on the little patch of sidewalk right outside my front door:

( RO indicates repeat offender)

an industrial-sized dumpster full of rotting Indian food - RO, a boxspring, several soggy concave mattresses, homeless people engaged in various acts of squalor (not limited to defecation, masturbation, and heroin addiction satiation) - RO, the evidences of these acts (jizz, yes, jizz)- RO, a brand new red and silver BMW motorcycle that as far as I can determine belongs to no-one on our block - RO, an enormous 70's era faux-wood finish TV with frayed electrical cord, clouds of pot smoke - RO, a lawn chair, a huge workbench made from sawhorses and plywood, a collapsed reading chair, an SUV jammed up so close to the door that I could barely get out, several kitchen chairs missing their seats, the pulpy remains of onion and garlic na'an, broken glass and bottles - RO, a rain-drenched heap of hundreds of sodden newpapers, an old patched quilt, 25-lb pound bags of potatoes, 20-lb cans of chickpeas and 50-lb drums of Sysco brand curry paste - RO, Cliff, our friendly self-appointed block custodian, doing his morning sweeping - RO, puddles of dog piss - RO, smeary polyps of dog shit - RO, swarms of black flies - RO, a metal desk, the nice but filthy man who collects the recyclable glass every Thursday - RO, vomit - RO, and a cluster of 6 or 7 leering Indian and Mexican men.

Today's discovery wins the twin prizes of Most Random and Most Alarming: a portable toilet.

Since I was rushing to catch the train, I didn't have the time (or the stomach) to investigate if it had been used. Butt come on, it's only a matter of time.