Life after 9/11, con't.

I realize that in my quest to be completely honest with frothy, I have been a bit of an asshole. My recent trip to Fountain Valley left me with so much to vent about that I am coming across as a non-compassionate bitch. Au contraire, I protest.

I have no idea what it is like to be in a situation like Don's. He is amazing. As soon as he woke up, he was already planning when he could get back to school. His progress in the beginning was remarkable. I haven't seen him indulging in any sort of self-pitying or depression. At first we were all expecting his vision to return, but now that he has accepted that his blindness is permanent he is adapting himself to his new life. He has lots of new gadgets that are supplied by the government and some that he has supplemented from his own savings. He goes to physical therapy 6 days a week. He is learning Braille. He attends blind support groups, and has befriended many people in this new community. He also posted a profile on GayJews.net and Gay.com. And he has met people and gone on some dates.

He is trying to figure out what sort of career he can pursue. He already had earned the Master Sommelier's certification before he got sick, and now plans to work in the wine field. To this end he attends wine tastings, and reads Wine Spectator and Wine On The Web faithfully.

There is no question that his outlook and resilience are remarkable. He is truly a hero. He impresses me so much. In his situation I think that I would be lost in deep unreachable depression.

Of course, he is completely doped up on Prozac, but still.

But then there's the other stuff.

Don's back under the parental roof and the dependency factor seems to have infantilized him. His mother, in her own form of denial, refuses to admit that he is taking advantage of the situation. In her eyes he can do no wrong and she won't stand for any criticism of him or his behavior. He seems to have slowed down on his drive to get mobile. He also started slacking off on learning Braille saying that its easier to just listen to his talking computer. He has gotten to be very bratty about his needs. He's always been controlling but now he's passive/agressive about it. He just sits there and expects eveything to come to him. He is extremely mean to Ron. All he ever wants to talk about is complain about Ron and not getting laid.

It's all very disconcerting. If he hadn't been so sick, I'd tell him straight up that he's being a jerk. But there's this thing that we all have to be totally positive and supportive of anything and everything he does. Because he's so vulnerable. Because he's blind.

So, the truth is, I started to avoid him. My life is full and busy and it's easy to do.

But then it was Passover. And I realized what I had been doing.